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“But Amy, I would do anything to get her. She is smart, beautiful, and kind but, no matter what I do, she won’t give me the time of day.” Mike, 22 “I can’t do it. Yes I want to lose weight, yes I want to...
“I don’t care about his words. He says the kids and I are the most important people in the world to him. He says he’s always loved me and will always be here for me. What does it matter? His actions show me he could...
Suzy gives me that look I’ve learned to recognize in my counseling office. It’s a unique combination of disbelief tinged with frustration and sadness, a hint of hope and overall irritation. It’s usually followed with, “A—MY.” It’s my cue that I’ve said something too hopeful...
“Doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with; when I take a bite of fried chicken I’m transported to my mother’s kitchen on a Sunday afternoon. As the sun filters through the white cotton curtains, I can hear the hot grease bubbling on the...
“He’s applying for jobs all over the country, but he’s not thinking about if he can really do them or not. I mean, he’s qualified and smart, but what if he takes a new job and then he can’t follow through?” Jane had a quiver...
“I want the cute new boy to like me, I want my parents to stop bugging me about homework and I want to get straight A’s,” said Sarah. “But the new boy drinks a lot and you don’t drink at all. How is that going...
Elizabeth kept her distance from me unless she needed someone who spoke English. The other Mexican women sought me out, asking a myriad of questions about the United States and, once I started eating pickled jalapeños, I became fast friends with the children in the...
Her shoulders curled in so tightly her chest looked like a small, shallow bowl. Her blond hair hung in stringy pieces over her face, covering her dulled blue eyes. She had crisscrossed the country following bands, joining ashrams, working odd jobs, running from the police,...
A couple will get to the point where they have tried everything—their friends’ therapist’s suggestions, the latest book, whatever they found on google—and are feeling desperate. That’s when they come to my office. (Might I take a moment to suggest it really is helpful in...
So there we all were going about our daily lives, getting used to the kids being back at school, talking about if winter would be mild or hard, deciding if we needed to buy wood this year or if we had enough…and then it started...
Missy and Suzanne had been best friends since their husbands met over 30 years ago. Marriages, children, sick parents, moves, renovations, churches—they’d been through it all together. “But now,” said Missy, “now I don’t know what to do.” Suzanne came to Missy and shared that......
“My father survived terrible childhood trauma,” Tabby shared. “Although he never talks to me about it, my cousin shared that my grandfather was physically abusive. And I’ve heard my grandpa be verbally abusive. Plus addiction runs in my family. I have an uncle who’s sober,......
“We’re here to work on our communication,” Sue said as she and her husband sat down. “I don’t think we know how to fight.” “Know how to fight?” said her husband Eric. “I’m sick of fighting! I want to be able to communicate better so......
“My goal for 2025 is to open my own art studio! I’ve been selling my creations on Etsy and at festivals, but I think it’s finally time for a brick and mortar shop.” Teddy, who came in for business coaching, bounced in his seat with......
“I can’t believe what my niece cooks for the holidays; it’s ridiculous,” exclaimed Ashley. “She already has a weight problem, as does the rest of her family! What am I saying? Of course they do. The house is full of cookies, candy, cakes, pies, and......
“It’s our family holiday tradition,” Betty exasperatedly explained. “We always go to the ski condo—grandparents, parents, spouses, kids, kids’ friends/partners, and great-grand kids. I can’t BELIEVE my sister isn’t coming this year. She is being so selfish! Our older family members don’t have many years......
“I’m scared we’re all gonna die,” Emma whispered. The five year old was creating an elaborate scene in the play room with 2 doll houses, numerous pieces of furniture, a variety of trees, people of all shapes and sizes, cars (“a fast one like my......
“How often do you see your parents?” I asked Missy, a new Millennial client. “Oh, you know,” she answered evasively. I waited, but she didn’t continue. “What does that mean?” I wondered out loud. “I mean, they’re fine,” explained Missy. “My childhood was ok. No......
“I looked up the diagnosis on-line, and I think my mother’s a narcissist. She knows everything, endlessly talks about how important she used to be in her job (she’s retired), believe’s she’s SO special, and takes advantage of people around her.” Sue sat upright in......
“I just want to make sure I’m doing everything right,” Rex explained. Rex had just moved to the area, and was coming in to talk about some life changes. “Doing it right?” I asked. “What do you mean?” “I kind of left my last......
“I do not know what to do with my employee,” Tristan breathed out an exacerbated sigh. “I’ve tried everything. It seems like he wanted more management time, so I set up an additional weekly meeting. Then he was having personal problems, so I brought in......
“It’s our responsibility to make sure no one dies in the forest,” said a seasoned human services provider. “You mean, we need to make sure people have supplies and the knowledge of how to take care of themselves when living on public land?” I asked. ......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
