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“Please just make these feelings go away.” Jerald looked up from our game of Sorry! with big blue tear-filled eyes. “I don’t want to be sad anymore. Can’t you tell me how to make it stop?” Jerald, in his seven-year-old wisdom, has articulated the question...
“She was my one true love. We met in high school, full of acne and awful hair styles. Neither of us were college people, so we graduated, got married and started working hard. We never had luxuries, but we had enough. Don’t get me wrong,...
My first job out of college was at a program for single mothers and my responsibilities included creating life skills classes. I had no idea what that meant, but my boss gave me a curriculum about finding your “inner child” that I was supposed to...
I’m often asked what exactly I do during a counseling session. “Isn’t counseling just for people who don’t have family or friends to talk to?” The belief is that as a psychotherapist I play the role of a confidante; mostly listening, sometimes giving advice, never...
I sit quietly on the brightly-carpeted floor waiting to see what toy or game Mark will pick during our first play therapy session together. Mark soon discovers the shields and swords, crown, knight helmet and dragon puppet. His shyness dissipates as he quickly begins to...
The counselor’s chair offers me a unique perspective on people. Like a bad Hollywood movie, sometimes it feels like if only I could rearrange people’s lives everyone would find happiness. Joe was sitting in my office bemoaning his life. He was stuck in a job...
Even though I’ve seen it many times I’m still surprised when someone on the verge of meeting their goals quits counseling. Working with Alexis for over a year she’d moved from a dead-end job she despised to a career path she loved. She stopped renting,...
I spent the past beautiful summer weekend holed up inside Colorado College’s concert hall, listening to pianists of all ages and nationalities competing to win the Rocky Mountain Amateur Piano Competition. All were amateurs, someone who does not teach or play the piano for their...
I often receive phone calls from parents of adult children in their 20’s and early 30’s looking for counseling for their kids. This group of young adults has yet to define themselves; they are sometimes called Generation Y, Millennials, and Echo Boomers. They are the...
Since the 1970’s the field of psychology has been studying links between health and the environment. One area, chronic noise exposure, explores long-term effects on adults and children. When I have friends and family visit me in Gilpin County the breakfast table conversation turns to...
“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
(Trauma trigger warning; this could be a difficult story to read, depending on your personal history.) Pain. Part of my daily life is sitting with people in the midst of deep, dark, raw pain. “Is it normal for someone to try and have sex with......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her......
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and......
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped......
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of......
Tina sat in front of me with a huge grin on her face. “I did it!” she exclaimed. “I convinced him to take the kids while I go to Mexico with my girlfriends.” I felt confused. Tina had been talking with me for months about......
Paul came to the Zoom screen looking exhausted, yawning after every answer to my checking-in questions. “What’s going on?” I finally asked him. “Are you sleeping ok?” “I guess,” he mumbled. I started asking him about his schedule for the past week. “Normal?” he said.......
Yvonne came to her counseling session upset about her friend group. “I’m always the one that initiates getting together,” she explained. “I find the movie, pick the latest restaurant, or find the concert tickets. Then I text everyone, coordinate schedules, budgets and rides, and finally......
Donovan had minimal contact with his father, Joseph. As a young man he’d had some serious fights with his dad, over everything from money to his character. Now in his 60’s, Donovan came to me to work on a plan to re-connect with his dad,......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
