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Celia started talking right away. “I know what my family should be doing. If my daughter would dump her fiancé, go back to school and quit that terrible job, she’d be happier. My husband needs to stop eating junk food, exercise on his lunch break,...
“When I drive out of town I notice the motels. I guess how much it would cost per night and estimate how long my drive to work would take. Every month when I pay the bills I contemplate how much money we have in our...
“But Amy, I would do anything to get her. She is smart, beautiful, and kind but, no matter what I do, she won’t give me the time of day.” Mike, 22 “I can’t do it. Yes I want to lose weight, yes I want to...
“I don’t care about his words. He says the kids and I are the most important people in the world to him. He says he’s always loved me and will always be here for me. What does it matter? His actions show me he could...
Suzy gives me that look I’ve learned to recognize in my counseling office. It’s a unique combination of disbelief tinged with frustration and sadness, a hint of hope and overall irritation. It’s usually followed with, “A—MY.” It’s my cue that I’ve said something too hopeful...
“Doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with; when I take a bite of fried chicken I’m transported to my mother’s kitchen on a Sunday afternoon. As the sun filters through the white cotton curtains, I can hear the hot grease bubbling on the...
“He’s applying for jobs all over the country, but he’s not thinking about if he can really do them or not. I mean, he’s qualified and smart, but what if he takes a new job and then he can’t follow through?” Jane had a quiver...
“I want the cute new boy to like me, I want my parents to stop bugging me about homework and I want to get straight A’s,” said Sarah. “But the new boy drinks a lot and you don’t drink at all. How is that going...
Elizabeth kept her distance from me unless she needed someone who spoke English. The other Mexican women sought me out, asking a myriad of questions about the United States and, once I started eating pickled jalapeños, I became fast friends with the children in the...
Her shoulders curled in so tightly her chest looked like a small, shallow bowl. Her blond hair hung in stringy pieces over her face, covering her dulled blue eyes. She had crisscrossed the country following bands, joining ashrams, working odd jobs, running from the police,...
“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
(Trauma trigger warning; this could be a difficult story to read, depending on your personal history.) Pain. Part of my daily life is sitting with people in the midst of deep, dark, raw pain. “Is it normal for someone to try and have sex with......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her......
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and......
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped......
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of......
Tina sat in front of me with a huge grin on her face. “I did it!” she exclaimed. “I convinced him to take the kids while I go to Mexico with my girlfriends.” I felt confused. Tina had been talking with me for months about......
Paul came to the Zoom screen looking exhausted, yawning after every answer to my checking-in questions. “What’s going on?” I finally asked him. “Are you sleeping ok?” “I guess,” he mumbled. I started asking him about his schedule for the past week. “Normal?” he said.......
Yvonne came to her counseling session upset about her friend group. “I’m always the one that initiates getting together,” she explained. “I find the movie, pick the latest restaurant, or find the concert tickets. Then I text everyone, coordinate schedules, budgets and rides, and finally......
Donovan had minimal contact with his father, Joseph. As a young man he’d had some serious fights with his dad, over everything from money to his character. Now in his 60’s, Donovan came to me to work on a plan to re-connect with his dad,......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
