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“She has survived so much! My life seems like a piece of cake compared to her experiences.” Sarah, new client, 22 years old “I don’t think I’m ever going to get out of this. No matter what I do, the hits just keep coming.” Martin,...
This election has elicited strong emotions and passionate debates. I’ve noticed much of the language used in conversations, both in the media and behind closed doors, incorporates victim/blaming language instead of language of curiosity and connection. “I might as well be a sitting duck. If...
“I’m just confused and hurt! I have been friends with my contractor for years. We had multiple meetings about my home addition and I thought we were in agreement about the project. But all of a sudden he’s refusing to finish my house, claiming that...
“You really, really don’t want kids, do you?” Bert leaned forward in his seat, pointing his finger at his wife. “You work 60 hours a week and in the evenings you always want to go out. You don’t have time for children!” Betsy rolled her...
Part of my job is obtaining Continuing Education Credits to renew my license and keep a variety of certifications current. The last couple of weeks I started sharing little bits of wisdom and provocative questions from my recent American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy...
Part of my job is obtaining Continuing Education Credits to renew my license and keep a variety of certifications current. Many I earn locally but I try to choose one conference every year that is 1) in a different part of the country near friends...
Part of my job is obtaining Continuing Education Credits to renew my license and keep a variety of certifications current. Many I earn locally but I try to choose one conference every year that is 1) in a different part of the country near friends...
The first three things Rosemarie told me when she met me. One, she was a fine, fierce black woman old enough to be my mother and I better never forget that. Two, she was HIV positive which was not AIDS, and I should not get...
It’s been almost two months since the Cold Springs Fire and it has ignited quite a bit of controversy in our mountain community. Official and grassroots meetings, Facebook and in-person groups, local and national media attention—it appears that anyone and everyone has an opinion about...
“One of my best friends left a marriage where her husband beat her, and a man at my church found out his wife was cheating on him for fifteen years. Nothing like that is happening in my marriage, so I should make it work, right?”...
“We’re here to work on our communication,” Sue said as she and her husband sat down. “I don’t think we know how to fight.” “Know how to fight?” said her husband Eric. “I’m sick of fighting! I want to be able to communicate better so......
“My goal for 2025 is to open my own art studio! I’ve been selling my creations on Etsy and at festivals, but I think it’s finally time for a brick and mortar shop.” Teddy, who came in for business coaching, bounced in his seat with......
“I can’t believe what my niece cooks for the holidays; it’s ridiculous,” exclaimed Ashley. “She already has a weight problem, as does the rest of her family! What am I saying? Of course they do. The house is full of cookies, candy, cakes, pies, and......
“It’s our family holiday tradition,” Betty exasperatedly explained. “We always go to the ski condo—grandparents, parents, spouses, kids, kids’ friends/partners, and great-grand kids. I can’t BELIEVE my sister isn’t coming this year. She is being so selfish! Our older family members don’t have many years......
“I’m scared we’re all gonna die,” Emma whispered. The five year old was creating an elaborate scene in the play room with 2 doll houses, numerous pieces of furniture, a variety of trees, people of all shapes and sizes, cars (“a fast one like my......
“I looked up the diagnosis on-line, and I think my mother’s a narcissist. She knows everything, endlessly talks about how important she used to be in her job (she’s retired), believe’s she’s SO special, and takes advantage of people around her.” Sue sat upright in......
“How often do you see your parents?” I asked Missy, a new Millennial client. “Oh, you know,” she answered evasively. I waited, but she didn’t continue. “What does that mean?” I wondered out loud. “I mean, they’re fine,” explained Missy. “My childhood was ok. No......
“I just want to make sure I’m doing everything right,” Rex explained. Rex had just moved to the area, and was coming in to talk about some life changes. “Doing it right?” I asked. “What do you mean?” “I kind of left my last......
“I do not know what to do with my employee,” Tristan breathed out an exacerbated sigh. “I’ve tried everything. It seems like he wanted more management time, so I set up an additional weekly meeting. Then he was having personal problems, so I brought in......
“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
