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“Once I make enough money, we’ll sell everything and move to an island. We can live off the land!” Sam to his 10 year old son, Tom “Once I have that first bite of chocolate cake, the world disappears and I feel free.” Joe in...
Penny, a woman in her early twenties, sits across from me with an intense expression on her face. “I’ve come to a realization,” she declares. “What’s that?” I ask. “I’ve decided I’m going to be single the rest of my life.” In the past year...
My week starts with three new clients interested in counseling. Sandra wants to lose weight. She’s been 100 pounds overweight for most of her adult life with high blood pressure, asthma, high cholesterol, and pre-diabetic symptoms. From a family that struggles with weight, she’d been...
With the election of Donald Trump the psychological term “gaslighting” is experiencing a resurgence in popularity and brings people into my office asking, “Am I being gaslighted?” As with other charged words, I think it’s helpful to take some time and understand the terms origins...
We live in a unique part of the state. Although technically Gilpin, Jefferson, Clear Creek and Boulder counties are considered urban, often we face health issues traditionally viewed as rural. (http://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/newsletters/transforming-care/2017/march/in-focus?omnicid=1187163&mid=vernamd@ubhc.rutgers.edu) Rural America faces higher levels of smoking, diabetes, coronary heart disease and suicides. Additionally...
I sat with Margaret and Larry through years of fertility challenges. Initially it was a curiosity as to why they weren’t getting pregnant like their friends, then enduring invasive medical tests and procedures. Next we dove into discussions about adoption while Margaret took time with...
Mary and Tom, married for 40 years, come into my office with one question: “Should we stay married or get divorced?” Tom grew up on a Midwestern farm, rising early to milk the cows and feed the chickens. He was the oldest of five, and...
Part of my job is traveling up and down the Front Range teaching business staff on a wide variety of topics, from How to Write a Professional Email (no, emojis are never appropriate), to Addressing Workplace Violence. One frequently-requested subject is Happiness. People want to...
“I have a basement full of boxes and crates, all holding precious memories. My oldest’s first tooth, my youngest’s baby blanket, my wedding dress…” Barbara trailed off and her husband (who’d been waiting politely) jumped in. “We have a basement that’s been full of precious...
Patrick had been dreaming about moving to Chile since he was a young man. Lunch breaks consisted of real estate searches, his bookshelves were full of Ramon Díaz Eterovic, Marcela Serrano and Pablo Neruda, and he’d been taking Spanish classes at Front Range Community College...
“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
(Trauma trigger warning; this could be a difficult story to read, depending on your personal history.) Pain. Part of my daily life is sitting with people in the midst of deep, dark, raw pain. “Is it normal for someone to try and have sex with......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her......
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and......
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped......
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of......
Tina sat in front of me with a huge grin on her face. “I did it!” she exclaimed. “I convinced him to take the kids while I go to Mexico with my girlfriends.” I felt confused. Tina had been talking with me for months about......
Paul came to the Zoom screen looking exhausted, yawning after every answer to my checking-in questions. “What’s going on?” I finally asked him. “Are you sleeping ok?” “I guess,” he mumbled. I started asking him about his schedule for the past week. “Normal?” he said.......
Yvonne came to her counseling session upset about her friend group. “I’m always the one that initiates getting together,” she explained. “I find the movie, pick the latest restaurant, or find the concert tickets. Then I text everyone, coordinate schedules, budgets and rides, and finally......
Donovan had minimal contact with his father, Joseph. As a young man he’d had some serious fights with his dad, over everything from money to his character. Now in his 60’s, Donovan came to me to work on a plan to re-connect with his dad,......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
