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Martha loved her life. She grew up in a small town, surrounded by family and friends. She married her high school sweetheart, moved into her favorite little yellow house on the corner and filled it with kids, dogs, and community. She’d been on an airplane...
Saul came in upset that “no one cared about him.” “My family doesn’t reach out, my neighbors don’t know I exist, no one at work ever asks me out for happy hour, and my guy friends don’t call unless it’s time for the annual fishing...
Sandra was considered the black sheep of the family. She worked in national parks, farmed, and was a stay-at-home mom while her siblings were lawyers and corporate managers. Family reunions consisted of golf games and spa appointments, which Sandra rarely attended as she and her...
We’ve all heard the phrase, “put your oxygen mask on before helping others.” It’s such a common metaphor for self-care these days, I couldn’t find the source of who first took it out of the plane instructions and into daily life. When the concept came...
Marta wanted to lose 100 pounds. Previously an active, fit woman, she had undergone severe medical issues for the past three years and was just now able to healthfully begin to lose weight. Marta was angry, resentful and overwhelmed looking at the scale. “Maybe I...
As a therapist there are moments you never forget and my time with Anthony was one of them. Anthony was a long-term on-again-off-again client who, at the moment, was trying to figure out how to start dating after a recent divorce. He was not appreciating...
“I haven’t spoken with my dad in 10 years,” said Anna, with a flat, mono-tone voice. “What happened?” I asked. “He was a fine dad. He worked two jobs, so he wasn’t around a lot. Teenage years we argued about the normal stuff—boys, drinking, grades....
“I’m a perfectionist. No matter what I’m doing I have to get it right every single time.” Todd just received a rejection from his #1 college choice. He was choking back tears as he explained he wasn’t sleeping well, eating regularly or spending time with...
Corey has the best Mom ever. “She makes yummy snacks for me and my friends, takes me down to the skate park, and makes sure I don’t see scary movies. She bugs me about my homework, but that’s ok. She’s supposed to.” “I can’t believe...
Daisy was known for her negativity. She’d receive a surprise check in the mail and complain that it wasn’t enough to help their “tiny income.” Her sister offered a guest room over the holidays and all Daisy could talk about was how cold, small and...
“They’re just mean,” Kira said. “They act like they want to be friends with me, but then when I find them at lunch they ignore and exclude me. It sucks,” she emphasized. “I know I’m not popular or anything, but they could at least be......
“I’m so angry with my family,” Walt said. “I never get any breaks. Life is always about working on the house, or working at my job to pay the bills, or helping out our neighbors. Seriously, I never get any FUN time.” Walt’s wife, Cynthia,......
“I am endlessly tired, Amy,” Vivian said. “I know my son needs extra attention with his recent diagnosis. I know my daughter is struggling with me not being around enough. I know my parents need extra time as they’re aging. But seriously, how much more......
“I’ve always been a runner,” Jane explained as she struggled to settle into the chair and prop her foot up on the footstool. “It’s who I am. I found running in my 20’s and started doing local 5K’s. Then I moved up here and discovered......
“I just don’t get my family. I’ve worked hard my whole life to give them what they need, and want! At the start of my career I’d work 60 hours a week or more, two jobs most of the time. I missed piano concerts and......
“So there I am, pouring my heart out to my mom. My oldest son had recently been in a car accident, and broke his leg. Our main family car needed $2000 of repairs and our credit cards are maxed out. My youngest daughter’s cat ran......
Missy and Suzanne had been best friends since their husbands met over 30 years ago. Marriages, children, sick parents, moves, renovations, churches—they’d been through it all together. “But now,” said Missy, “now I don’t know what to do.” Suzanne came to Missy and shared that......
“My father survived terrible childhood trauma,” Tabby shared. “Although he never talks to me about it, my cousin shared that my grandfather was physically abusive. And I’ve heard my grandpa be verbally abusive. Plus addiction runs in my family. I have an uncle who’s sober,......
“We’re here to work on our communication,” Sue said as she and her husband sat down. “I don’t think we know how to fight.” “Know how to fight?” said her husband Eric. “I’m sick of fighting! I want to be able to communicate better so......
“My goal for 2025 is to open my own art studio! I’ve been selling my creations on Etsy and at festivals, but I think it’s finally time for a brick and mortar shop.” Teddy, who came in for business coaching, bounced in his seat with......
“I can’t believe what my niece cooks for the holidays; it’s ridiculous,” exclaimed Ashley. “She already has a weight problem, as does the rest of her family! What am I saying? Of course they do. The house is full of cookies, candy, cakes, pies, and......
“It’s our family holiday tradition,” Betty exasperatedly explained. “We always go to the ski condo—grandparents, parents, spouses, kids, kids’ friends/partners, and great-grand kids. I can’t BELIEVE my sister isn’t coming this year. She is being so selfish! Our older family members don’t have many years......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
