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Donovan had minimal contact with his father, Joseph. As a young man he’d had some serious fights with his dad, over everything from money to his character. Now in his 60’s, Donovan came to me to work on a plan to re-connect with his dad,...
“I know my mom loves me and I know my dad loves me,” Rodrigo shared with me during a recent session. Rodrigo’s parents have gone out of their way to make sure the kids felt loved, valued, and not at fault for the recent divorce....
One challenge people report throughout the past pandemic year is more difficulty communicating with others. Some folks focus on hurtful interactions with family and friends while others highlight frustrating exchanges with the world at large (colleagues, customer service representatives, grocery store clerks, etc.). A question...
Looking out over the falling snow during our most recent three foot snowstorm I was struck by how the extremes of the weather matched the extremes of our past year with COVID-19. March 2020 our schools, businesses, governments, places of worship, gyms, hair salons…everyone and...
Suzanne came in frustrated with her family. “I’ve been taking care of my elderly father for the past few years. I turned my life upside down to accommodate his needs and wants, building an addition on my house, making sure he gets to his doctor’s...
Martha loved her life. She grew up in a small town, surrounded by family and friends. She married her high school sweetheart, moved into her favorite little yellow house on the corner and filled it with kids, dogs, and community. She’d been on an airplane...
Saul came in upset that “no one cared about him.” “My family doesn’t reach out, my neighbors don’t know I exist, no one at work ever asks me out for happy hour, and my guy friends don’t call unless it’s time for the annual fishing...
Sandra was considered the black sheep of the family. She worked in national parks, farmed, and was a stay-at-home mom while her siblings were lawyers and corporate managers. Family reunions consisted of golf games and spa appointments, which Sandra rarely attended as she and her...
We’ve all heard the phrase, “put your oxygen mask on before helping others.” It’s such a common metaphor for self-care these days, I couldn’t find the source of who first took it out of the plane instructions and into daily life. When the concept came...
Marta wanted to lose 100 pounds. Previously an active, fit woman, she had undergone severe medical issues for the past three years and was just now able to healthfully begin to lose weight. Marta was angry, resentful and overwhelmed looking at the scale. “Maybe I...
“We’re here to work on our communication,” Sue said as she and her husband sat down. “I don’t think we know how to fight.” “Know how to fight?” said her husband Eric. “I’m sick of fighting! I want to be able to communicate better so......
“My goal for 2025 is to open my own art studio! I’ve been selling my creations on Etsy and at festivals, but I think it’s finally time for a brick and mortar shop.” Teddy, who came in for business coaching, bounced in his seat with......
“I can’t believe what my niece cooks for the holidays; it’s ridiculous,” exclaimed Ashley. “She already has a weight problem, as does the rest of her family! What am I saying? Of course they do. The house is full of cookies, candy, cakes, pies, and......
“It’s our family holiday tradition,” Betty exasperatedly explained. “We always go to the ski condo—grandparents, parents, spouses, kids, kids’ friends/partners, and great-grand kids. I can’t BELIEVE my sister isn’t coming this year. She is being so selfish! Our older family members don’t have many years......
“I’m scared we’re all gonna die,” Emma whispered. The five year old was creating an elaborate scene in the play room with 2 doll houses, numerous pieces of furniture, a variety of trees, people of all shapes and sizes, cars (“a fast one like my......
“I looked up the diagnosis on-line, and I think my mother’s a narcissist. She knows everything, endlessly talks about how important she used to be in her job (she’s retired), believe’s she’s SO special, and takes advantage of people around her.” Sue sat upright in......
“How often do you see your parents?” I asked Missy, a new Millennial client. “Oh, you know,” she answered evasively. I waited, but she didn’t continue. “What does that mean?” I wondered out loud. “I mean, they’re fine,” explained Missy. “My childhood was ok. No......
“I just want to make sure I’m doing everything right,” Rex explained. Rex had just moved to the area, and was coming in to talk about some life changes. “Doing it right?” I asked. “What do you mean?” “I kind of left my last......
“I do not know what to do with my employee,” Tristan breathed out an exacerbated sigh. “I’ve tried everything. It seems like he wanted more management time, so I set up an additional weekly meeting. Then he was having personal problems, so I brought in......
“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
