10 Jul But I Did Everything Right

“I’ve always been a runner,” Jane explained as she struggled to settle into the chair and prop her foot up on the footstool. “It’s who I am. I found running in my 20’s and started doing local 5K’s. Then I moved up here and discovered trail running! Concepts like “single-track” entered my vocabulary, and I began participating in trail races around the area. Life was incredible!” 

“It sounds like you found your passion,” I noted. 

“Yes. I found ME. I knew who I was. I had purpose.” Jane looked straight into my eyes with determination and certainty. And then she looked at her leg and her shoulders sagged. 

“What happened?” I quietly asked. 

“Oh, what hasn’t happened,” Jane muttered. “A series of injuries. And here’s the thing!” Her voice began to rise. “With each and every injury I did everything right. I went to a sports medicine specialist, worked with a PT who focuses on runners, religiously did all the recommendations at home, rested when I was told to rest. All of it!” 

By now Jane was yelling loudly. “And it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t help. I’m STILL not back to my pre-injury strength. It’s been brutal.” Jane began sobbing, her shoulders heaving and her breath coming out in short bursts. 

Fred came in later that afternoon, “Look, I cannot die alone.” He gingerly sat down and adjusted the chair so he could look straight out the sliding door, searching for potential fish in the creek. 

Fred had been in counseling on and off over the past couple of years, processing his grief after the death of his wife and learning and practicing tools as he transitioned into retirement. 

“Fred, what’s going on? What’s happening in that brain of yours?” I asked. 

“Look, I can do a lot of things on my own. I have a great routine. I go on hikes, read the latest book I’ve picked up from our local library, see friends once a week, talk with family on the weekends, and spend time with my kids a few times a month. But this past week I’ve been thinking, I just can’t die alone in my house.” 

“Are you sick Fred? Did something happen to someone close to you? Where is this coming from?” Since I’d known Fred for awhile, I felt comfortable diving right in. 

“Well, my neighbor just died. She was all alone, and no one knew she passed.” Fred shared. “That cannot happen to me.” 

The last evening session brought Evan, a teen who started counseling during the school year to help with low grades. Although he wasn’t coming in much over the summer, he checked in a couple of times to make sure he was doing ok. 

“So, how’s summer going?” I asked him. “Anything fun?”

“Not really. It’s boring. No one’s around.” Evan’s phone buzzed, he quickly glanced at it, and put it back in his pocket. 

“A friend?” I asked. (I realized this might be a session where I end up asking lots of questions, which often happens with teens.)

“Kinda, I guess.” Evan looked at the floor.

“Evan,” I said, “What’s going on? You look kind of terrible.” 

“It’s Tina, my girlfriend,” He said. “She’s all into parties and stuff now, and it lowkey sucks.” Evan pulled out his phone again, looked at the screen, typed a quick response, and put it back in his pocket. 

“What’s up with Tina?” I wondered. 

“Look, I’m not into that kind of stuff, but she is. And I want to hang, but she wants to party, and so I go with her, and then it’s just boring. And then she gets mad at me, and that really sucks.” 

Evan’s phone buzzed. He ignored it. 

“What am I gonna do if she dumps me because I suck?” Evan asked in a whisper. 

Jane was a healthy, confident successful woman. When challenges came her way she followed the recommendations and took the steps to get back to her positive life. 

When Fred’s wife died and he retired from his career, he sought out counseling to navigate both the grief and retirement processes to make sure he stayed psychologically healthy.

Evan had worked hard to turn his life around. He pulled his grades up, worked on communication with his parents, and had been so excited to spend the summer with his friends and girlfriend. 

In life we can do so many things right. We can make the right choices, take the right steps, resource appropriately, and make changes when we need to. And difficult circumstances will still come our way. 

With Jane, we started working on how to psychologically face a potentially long-term impact on her running, which included facing the grief, accepting, and beginning to create a new mindset that fits into her current physical abilities. 

Fred and I put together a connection/community plan that included people who check in on him regularly and people he checks on regularly. It’s now a strong group of caring friends, formed in memory of their neighbor. 

Although Evan was doing very well behaviorally, his girlfriend’s latest choices brought out Evan’s struggles with self-esteem. We increased his summer sessions and focused on building up his self-concept, adding activities into his life that made him feel confident, and helping him see himself the way his family and friends see him. 

“In the Clouds”, photo by Richard Brandon.  At 12,000 ft., Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park offers the most beautiful views. 

Originally published in the July 10, 2025 edition of the Mountain-Ear