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“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
(Trauma trigger warning; this could be a difficult story to read, depending on your personal history.) Pain. Part of my daily life is sitting with people in the midst of deep, dark, raw pain. “Is it normal for someone to try and have sex with......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her......
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and......
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped......
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of......
Tina sat in front of me with a huge grin on her face. “I did it!” she exclaimed. “I convinced him to take the kids while I go to Mexico with my girlfriends.” I felt confused. Tina had been talking with me for months about......
Paul came to the Zoom screen looking exhausted, yawning after every answer to my checking-in questions. “What’s going on?” I finally asked him. “Are you sleeping ok?” “I guess,” he mumbled. I started asking him about his schedule for the past week. “Normal?” he said.......
Yvonne came to her counseling session upset about her friend group. “I’m always the one that initiates getting together,” she explained. “I find the movie, pick the latest restaurant, or find the concert tickets. Then I text everyone, coordinate schedules, budgets and rides, and finally......
Donovan had minimal contact with his father, Joseph. As a young man he’d had some serious fights with his dad, over everything from money to his character. Now in his 60’s, Donovan came to me to work on a plan to re-connect with his dad,......
Forget the Jones. No matter how perfectly fabulous you are, there will always be Margaret’s award-winning pie crust, Saul’s impeccably-positioned Nutcracker seats, Betty’s magazine-cover decorations, and Joe’s gifts of individualized carvings. Stop trying to compete. You’ll simply miss your own holiday focusing on them. Don’t...
“She has survived so much! My life seems like a piece of cake compared to her experiences.” Sarah, new client, 22 years old “I don’t think I’m ever going to get out of this. No matter what I do, the hits just keep coming.” Martin,...
This election has elicited strong emotions and passionate debates. I’ve noticed much of the language used in conversations, both in the media and behind closed doors, incorporates victim/blaming language instead of language of curiosity and connection. “I might as well be a sitting duck. If...
“I’m just confused and hurt! I have been friends with my contractor for years. We had multiple meetings about my home addition and I thought we were in agreement about the project. But all of a sudden he’s refusing to finish my house, claiming that...
“You really, really don’t want kids, do you?” Bert leaned forward in his seat, pointing his finger at his wife. “You work 60 hours a week and in the evenings you always want to go out. You don’t have time for children!” Betsy rolled her...
Part of my job is obtaining Continuing Education Credits to renew my license and keep a variety of certifications current. The last couple of weeks I started sharing little bits of wisdom and provocative questions from my recent American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy...
Part of my job is obtaining Continuing Education Credits to renew my license and keep a variety of certifications current. Many I earn locally but I try to choose one conference every year that is 1) in a different part of the country near friends...
Part of my job is obtaining Continuing Education Credits to renew my license and keep a variety of certifications current. Many I earn locally but I try to choose one conference every year that is 1) in a different part of the country near friends...
The first three things Rosemarie told me when she met me. One, she was a fine, fierce black woman old enough to be my mother and I better never forget that. Two, she was HIV positive which was not AIDS, and I should not get...
It’s been almost two months since the Cold Springs Fire and it has ignited quite a bit of controversy in our mountain community. Official and grassroots meetings, Facebook and in-person groups, local and national media attention—it appears that anyone and everyone has an opinion about...
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
