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A few years ago a young woman, Sally (not her real name), came into my office and began to talk about her favorite aunt. “When I got that bad perm in middle school she was there to show me how to make it look better....
As I was cleaning out my e-mail I came across a forwarded note entitled “Merry Christmas.” Apparently the author was quite angry that people were choosing to say “Seasons’ Greetings” or “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Although there are many interesting elements to this...
Recently I had a woman in my office anxiously talking about the holiday season. What if her friends notice she isn’t giving gifts this year, and guess that she is in financial trouble? What if her mother-in-law realizes her pie crust is store bought? What...
Most of my counseling sessions with children include playing with a variety of toys. Depending on their life circumstances, children will make different choices about the types of toys they want to pull off the shelves. Recently the emergency vehicles have been getting a workout!...
Some of us plan for the future. We save for retirement, prepare for the job interview and get our annual physical. Others of us are more spontaneous. We face what’s in front of us, and leave the rest for tomorrow. One morning as a hospice...
It’s your big shopping day and you’ve driven down the hill to find some bargains. As you’re trying to decide between one or two bulk bottles of laundry detergent your concentration is interrupted by the piercing scream of a young child over by the fabric...
Like so many of you I have enjoyed Mike Brook’s life-coach column, full of practical advice and interesting stories. While he is taking some well-deserved time off I feel privileged to offer my own thoughts and experiences as a counselor in the Peak to Peak...
I have a couple sitting in front of me. They are on opposite ends of the couch, bodies turned away from each other, arms crossed. I know they both love each other and want to stay together, but right now they are in a painful,...
I remember as an undergraduate student speaking with a psychology major whose father recently died. “At the moment I’m in denial, but if I move quickly through the stages of grief I should be done by summer vacation,” she said. Being an English major myself...
Whether your holiday was a joyous occasion full of lively festive traditions, a quiet, meditative interlude at home, or a poignant time filled with memories of celebrations past, the season has come and gone. Family and friends returned home, the cards slowed to a trickle,...
“We’re here to work on our communication,” Sue said as she and her husband sat down. “I don’t think we know how to fight.” “Know how to fight?” said her husband Eric. “I’m sick of fighting! I want to be able to communicate better so......
“My goal for 2025 is to open my own art studio! I’ve been selling my creations on Etsy and at festivals, but I think it’s finally time for a brick and mortar shop.” Teddy, who came in for business coaching, bounced in his seat with......
“I can’t believe what my niece cooks for the holidays; it’s ridiculous,” exclaimed Ashley. “She already has a weight problem, as does the rest of her family! What am I saying? Of course they do. The house is full of cookies, candy, cakes, pies, and......
“It’s our family holiday tradition,” Betty exasperatedly explained. “We always go to the ski condo—grandparents, parents, spouses, kids, kids’ friends/partners, and great-grand kids. I can’t BELIEVE my sister isn’t coming this year. She is being so selfish! Our older family members don’t have many years......
“I’m scared we’re all gonna die,” Emma whispered. The five year old was creating an elaborate scene in the play room with 2 doll houses, numerous pieces of furniture, a variety of trees, people of all shapes and sizes, cars (“a fast one like my......
“I looked up the diagnosis on-line, and I think my mother’s a narcissist. She knows everything, endlessly talks about how important she used to be in her job (she’s retired), believe’s she’s SO special, and takes advantage of people around her.” Sue sat upright in......
“How often do you see your parents?” I asked Missy, a new Millennial client. “Oh, you know,” she answered evasively. I waited, but she didn’t continue. “What does that mean?” I wondered out loud. “I mean, they’re fine,” explained Missy. “My childhood was ok. No......
“I just want to make sure I’m doing everything right,” Rex explained. Rex had just moved to the area, and was coming in to talk about some life changes. “Doing it right?” I asked. “What do you mean?” “I kind of left my last......
“I do not know what to do with my employee,” Tristan breathed out an exacerbated sigh. “I’ve tried everything. It seems like he wanted more management time, so I set up an additional weekly meeting. Then he was having personal problems, so I brought in......
“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
