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“It is always darkest just before the dawn” is a quote often shared during difficult times. Recently I became curious; where did this quote originate? Apparently the oldest reference is Thomas Fuller in 1650, although it’s not clear if he wrote it or was quoting...
As a child I always hated marigolds. That orange color, the pungent smell, their little spiky leaves—nothing about them appealed to me. I can still picture the sparse little bursts of color in clay pots on our patio that, no matter how much we watered...
Sondra worked hard the past five years to make significant changes in her life. Working at a daycare center and attending class at night she went back to school and finished her Bachelor’s degree in Chemistry. She decided she wanted to become a high school...
“In my class all the kids are mean to me. They make fun of what I look like. I tell my teacher but it doesn’t help.” I’ve just met Mark and he’s telling me why he gets so angry. “I can’t do my homework because...
“I just can’t stay put; I’ve moved every four years since I turned eighteen. I couldn’t wait to get out on my own and explore, but recently I realized I honestly can’t stay in one place more than two years. I’ve lived all over the...
“I have a good job, pay my bills, spend time with my kids, and remember to call family and friends on their birthdays. I’m not perfect; I could be in better shape or volunteer more often. But Amy, I’m sick and tired of being alone;...
It’s a warm, sunny afternoon outside, but inside an upset mother is recounting her young daughter’s latest week. “I just don’t know what to do with her anymore. I don’t let her have play dates and all her activities have been cancelled, but she keeps...
“Every morning I drag myself out of bed, get the kids ready for school, and barely make it on time to work. My job’s fine, not great, but it pays the bills. My marriage’s ok. I don’t really have anything to complain about, but something’s...
“Please just make these feelings go away.” Jerald looked up from our game of Sorry! with big blue tear-filled eyes. “I don’t want to be sad anymore. Can’t you tell me how to make it stop?” Jerald, in his seven-year-old wisdom, has articulated the question...
“She was my one true love. We met in high school, full of acne and awful hair styles. Neither of us were college people, so we graduated, got married and started working hard. We never had luxuries, but we had enough. Don’t get me wrong,...
“I’m not sleeping well, and I have no appetite. I find myself ending my days with a couple of beers more often then not. I don’t know what’s going on.” Robert stared out the sliding door at the frozen creek, with dark circles under his......
“I never cook for the holidays,” Matt grimaced. “I worked in the restaurant industry for years, and November and December were always a nightmare.” “People were constantly complaining: the turkey is dry, the pie crust should be more flaky, the latkes are too oily, you......
“I’ve never been in a fire or flood, or hurricane or anything. I know the businesses of course, but I’m not really good friends with any of the owners or employees,” said Tommy. “But I’ll be honest with you, it’s been a tough month for......
“They’re just mean,” Kira said. “They act like they want to be friends with me, but then when I find them at lunch they ignore and exclude me. It sucks,” she emphasized. “I know I’m not popular or anything, but they could at least be......
“I’m so angry with my family,” Walt said. “I never get any breaks. Life is always about working on the house, or working at my job to pay the bills, or helping out our neighbors. Seriously, I never get any FUN time.” Walt’s wife, Cynthia,......
“I am endlessly tired, Amy,” Vivian said. “I know my son needs extra attention with his recent diagnosis. I know my daughter is struggling with me not being around enough. I know my parents need extra time as they’re aging. But seriously, how much more......
“I’ve always been a runner,” Jane explained as she struggled to settle into the chair and prop her foot up on the footstool. “It’s who I am. I found running in my 20’s and started doing local 5K’s. Then I moved up here and discovered......
“I just don’t get my family. I’ve worked hard my whole life to give them what they need, and want! At the start of my career I’d work 60 hours a week or more, two jobs most of the time. I missed piano concerts and......
“So there I am, pouring my heart out to my mom. My oldest son had recently been in a car accident, and broke his leg. Our main family car needed $2000 of repairs and our credit cards are maxed out. My youngest daughter’s cat ran......
Missy and Suzanne had been best friends since their husbands met over 30 years ago. Marriages, children, sick parents, moves, renovations, churches—they’d been through it all together. “But now,” said Missy, “now I don’t know what to do.” Suzanne came to Missy and shared that......
“My father survived terrible childhood trauma,” Tabby shared. “Although he never talks to me about it, my cousin shared that my grandfather was physically abusive. And I’ve heard my grandpa be verbally abusive. Plus addiction runs in my family. I have an uncle who’s sober,......
“We’re here to work on our communication,” Sue said as she and her husband sat down. “I don’t think we know how to fight.” “Know how to fight?” said her husband Eric. “I’m sick of fighting! I want to be able to communicate better so......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
