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“But Amy, I would do anything to get her. She is smart, beautiful, and kind but, no matter what I do, she won’t give me the time of day.” Mike, 22 “I can’t do it. Yes I want to lose weight, yes I want to...
“I don’t care about his words. He says the kids and I are the most important people in the world to him. He says he’s always loved me and will always be here for me. What does it matter? His actions show me he could...
Suzy gives me that look I’ve learned to recognize in my counseling office. It’s a unique combination of disbelief tinged with frustration and sadness, a hint of hope and overall irritation. It’s usually followed with, “A—MY.” It’s my cue that I’ve said something too hopeful...
“Doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with; when I take a bite of fried chicken I’m transported to my mother’s kitchen on a Sunday afternoon. As the sun filters through the white cotton curtains, I can hear the hot grease bubbling on the...
“He’s applying for jobs all over the country, but he’s not thinking about if he can really do them or not. I mean, he’s qualified and smart, but what if he takes a new job and then he can’t follow through?” Jane had a quiver...
“I want the cute new boy to like me, I want my parents to stop bugging me about homework and I want to get straight A’s,” said Sarah. “But the new boy drinks a lot and you don’t drink at all. How is that going...
Elizabeth kept her distance from me unless she needed someone who spoke English. The other Mexican women sought me out, asking a myriad of questions about the United States and, once I started eating pickled jalapeños, I became fast friends with the children in the...
Her shoulders curled in so tightly her chest looked like a small, shallow bowl. Her blond hair hung in stringy pieces over her face, covering her dulled blue eyes. She had crisscrossed the country following bands, joining ashrams, working odd jobs, running from the police,...
A couple will get to the point where they have tried everything—their friends’ therapist’s suggestions, the latest book, whatever they found on google—and are feeling desperate. That’s when they come to my office. (Might I take a moment to suggest it really is helpful in...
So there we all were going about our daily lives, getting used to the kids being back at school, talking about if winter would be mild or hard, deciding if we needed to buy wood this year or if we had enough…and then it started...
“I’m not sleeping well, and I have no appetite. I find myself ending my days with a couple of beers more often then not. I don’t know what’s going on.” Robert stared out the sliding door at the frozen creek, with dark circles under his......
“I never cook for the holidays,” Matt grimaced. “I worked in the restaurant industry for years, and November and December were always a nightmare.” “People were constantly complaining: the turkey is dry, the pie crust should be more flaky, the latkes are too oily, you......
“I’ve never been in a fire or flood, or hurricane or anything. I know the businesses of course, but I’m not really good friends with any of the owners or employees,” said Tommy. “But I’ll be honest with you, it’s been a tough month for......
“They’re just mean,” Kira said. “They act like they want to be friends with me, but then when I find them at lunch they ignore and exclude me. It sucks,” she emphasized. “I know I’m not popular or anything, but they could at least be......
“I’m so angry with my family,” Walt said. “I never get any breaks. Life is always about working on the house, or working at my job to pay the bills, or helping out our neighbors. Seriously, I never get any FUN time.” Walt’s wife, Cynthia,......
“I am endlessly tired, Amy,” Vivian said. “I know my son needs extra attention with his recent diagnosis. I know my daughter is struggling with me not being around enough. I know my parents need extra time as they’re aging. But seriously, how much more......
“I’ve always been a runner,” Jane explained as she struggled to settle into the chair and prop her foot up on the footstool. “It’s who I am. I found running in my 20’s and started doing local 5K’s. Then I moved up here and discovered......
“I just don’t get my family. I’ve worked hard my whole life to give them what they need, and want! At the start of my career I’d work 60 hours a week or more, two jobs most of the time. I missed piano concerts and......
“So there I am, pouring my heart out to my mom. My oldest son had recently been in a car accident, and broke his leg. Our main family car needed $2000 of repairs and our credit cards are maxed out. My youngest daughter’s cat ran......
Missy and Suzanne had been best friends since their husbands met over 30 years ago. Marriages, children, sick parents, moves, renovations, churches—they’d been through it all together. “But now,” said Missy, “now I don’t know what to do.” Suzanne came to Missy and shared that......
“My father survived terrible childhood trauma,” Tabby shared. “Although he never talks to me about it, my cousin shared that my grandfather was physically abusive. And I’ve heard my grandpa be verbally abusive. Plus addiction runs in my family. I have an uncle who’s sober,......
“We’re here to work on our communication,” Sue said as she and her husband sat down. “I don’t think we know how to fight.” “Know how to fight?” said her husband Eric. “I’m sick of fighting! I want to be able to communicate better so......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
