13 Nov Healing After the Fire
“I’ve never been in a fire or flood, or hurricane or anything. I know the businesses of course, but I’m not really good friends with any of the owners or employees,” said Tommy.
“But I’ll be honest with you, it’s been a tough month for sure. Not hard like people who lost their businesses, but still things have felt off.” Tommy looked distractedly out of the sliding door at the icy creek.
“Has there been anything significant in your life that’s happened recently? Any events, specific challenges in relationships, financial changes, or specific anniversaries such as deaths or losses?” I asked Tommy, searching with him for a root cause.
Tommy sat for a minute, thinking through the list and going back through the recent weeks. “No, it’s really just been business as usual. And fall is my favorite season. The kids enjoy Halloween, my wife starts baking pumpkin-everything, and I love making fires in our wood stove.”
Later that afternoon Sylvia came in for her regular session. “I just can’t get the image of those flames out of my head. No matter what I do, when I close my eyes at night I see the burning shopping center, and I’m right back to being a little girl watching my neighbor’s house burn to the ground. I wake up terrified and covered in sweat.”
“Sylvia,” I quietly asked, “How many years ago was that fire?”
“Seventy years ago. I was six years old. I know that because my sister had just been born, and we were all awake from her crying. And I remember wearing bright orange pajamas. They got so dirty that night I never got to wear them again.” Sylvia was staring blankly at the plant in the corner, pulling at a strand of hair that had fallen out of her hair clip.
Sam came in the morning of the fire. “I totally get it,” he said. “I lived in Tornado Alley for years and not only lost my own business, but experienced being in the business community and helping others who lost their’s too. It’s an intense rollercoaster. One minute everyone’s handing you money and you feel like there’s hope, and the next you’re staring at the wreckage of your whole world reduced to unrecognizable debris.”
“How did you handle it, the rollercoaster?” I wondered out loud.
“Well, first I relied on everyone around me. I wasn’t really thinking straight, and I couldn’t prioritize what I needed to do. So my three best friends came together to become my re-building committee. They could sift through the people really wanting to help me (and there were a ton!), and the people who were trying to take advantage or were just being nasty (and there were some). Over time my brain came back on-line and they faded more into the background, but I’ll tell you. I couldn’t have done it without them.”
Five weeks ago our community woke up to texts, videos, voicemails, photos, posts, and views of the fire from windows, decks and short walks to the shopping center. It’s been five weeks of fundraisers and community events, donations and offerings, and the inevitable ups and downs post-disaster.
It has impacted everyone differently, from those on the frontlines fighting the fire, supporting first responders and community members, losing businesses and non-profits, grieving pets, mourning destroyed art, processing decades of memories made at the shopping center, seeing the destruction every day, health problems from breathing in the initial smoke, and reminders of past losses.
The community has rushed in to support, from our own high schoolers offering funds from homecoming to help out business owners, to generous GoFundMe funds and incredible offerings of food and donations.
Amidst the high energy and intensity post-disaster, it’s important to take some time to nurture our mental health.
Tommy was able to recognize that, although he wasn’t directly affected by the fire, simply living in the community, seeing the burned shopping center every day on his way to work, and talking with friends and family over and over again about the fire had impacted him emotionally. He added in some new coping skills: 1) when driving by the shopping center he intentionally didn’t look at it every time and chose to send positive thoughts to specific businesses as he drove by; 2) during conversations about the fire he set some limits and purposefully shifted some conversations to discussing the positive steps people were able to take to rebuild their businesses; 3) talking as a family about how they would specifically support in order to stop feeling overwhelmed by all of the opportunities.
Sylvia was able to recognize she has some unresolved trauma from her childhood and, although she was “in the last act of her life” as she phrased it, she took some time to process. She’s recently brought up the fire with her siblings, and the three of them have been able to share, connect, and create a stronger bond.
Sam realized his experiences with natural disasters offered a specialized knowledge that could be helpful to people. He called the Red Cross and is presently going through the on-line training process to be able to travel to disaster areas and support people during some of the worst times in their lives.
For some five weeks has felt like a lifetime, for others it passed in the blink of an eye. Knowing that each of us are experiencing the fire differently, it’s critical to take the time to talk with those in our community circles about how everyone is really doing, as we continue to heal and move forward.
“Caribou Shopping Center Weeks After the Fire”, photo by Richard Brandon. The fire has passed but the strength to rebuild as a community remains.
Originally published in the Nov. 13, 2025 edition of the Mountain-Ear