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“My whole life I’ve dreamed of taking my kids camping. I even saved kid-size camping chairs from my childhood to set up around the campfire. I grew up fishing and hiking with my dad, and even loved winter camping trips with my fellow Boy Scouts.......
“I just can’t believe it, everything is different now,” Madeline sobbed, shoulders shaking as she reached for the tissue box. “What do you mean?” I softly asked. “We were fine. Mom and Daddy weren’t together, but we had our 2 houses and everything. Now it’s......
“I just found out my favorite aunt has terminal cancer,” Bobby shared. “She’s one of the most wonderful people in the world! She never missed a birthday, always came to my soccer games, and made me feel exceptionally special. I just can’t believe she’s dying.”......
(Trauma trigger warning; this could be a difficult story to read, depending on your personal history.) Pain. Part of my daily life is sitting with people in the midst of deep, dark, raw pain. “Is it normal for someone to try and have sex with......
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her......
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and......
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped......
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of......
Tina sat in front of me with a huge grin on her face. “I did it!” she exclaimed. “I convinced him to take the kids while I go to Mexico with my girlfriends.” I felt confused. Tina had been talking with me for months about......
Paul came to the Zoom screen looking exhausted, yawning after every answer to my checking-in questions. “What’s going on?” I finally asked him. “Are you sleeping ok?” “I guess,” he mumbled. I started asking him about his schedule for the past week. “Normal?” he said.......
Yvonne came to her counseling session upset about her friend group. “I’m always the one that initiates getting together,” she explained. “I find the movie, pick the latest restaurant, or find the concert tickets. Then I text everyone, coordinate schedules, budgets and rides, and finally......
Donovan had minimal contact with his father, Joseph. As a young man he’d had some serious fights with his dad, over everything from money to his character. Now in his 60’s, Donovan came to me to work on a plan to re-connect with his dad,......
Before we know it the New Year is well on its way and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. People’s experiences and opinions about this day are a lesson in extremes, much like our mountain weather. I once had a co-worker who religiously hosted...
A few years ago a young woman, Sally (not her real name), came into my office and began to talk about her favorite aunt. “When I got that bad perm in middle school she was there to show me how to make it look better....
As I was cleaning out my e-mail I came across a forwarded note entitled “Merry Christmas.” Apparently the author was quite angry that people were choosing to say “Seasons’ Greetings” or “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Although there are many interesting elements to this...
Recently I had a woman in my office anxiously talking about the holiday season. What if her friends notice she isn’t giving gifts this year, and guess that she is in financial trouble? What if her mother-in-law realizes her pie crust is store bought? What...
I remember as an undergraduate student speaking with a psychology major whose father recently died. “At the moment I’m in denial, but if I move quickly through the stages of grief I should be done by summer vacation,” she said. Being an English major myself...
Most of my counseling sessions with children include playing with a variety of toys. Depending on their life circumstances, children will make different choices about the types of toys they want to pull off the shelves. Recently the emergency vehicles have been getting a workout!...
It’s your big shopping day and you’ve driven down the hill to find some bargains. As you’re trying to decide between one or two bulk bottles of laundry detergent your concentration is interrupted by the piercing scream of a young child over by the fabric...
I have a couple sitting in front of me. They are on opposite ends of the couch, bodies turned away from each other, arms crossed. I know they both love each other and want to stay together, but right now they are in a painful,...
Some of us plan for the future. We save for retirement, prepare for the job interview and get our annual physical. Others of us are more spontaneous. We face what’s in front of us, and leave the rest for tomorrow. One morning as a hospice...
Whether your holiday was a joyous occasion full of lively festive traditions, a quiet, meditative interlude at home, or a poignant time filled with memories of celebrations past, the season has come and gone. Family and friends returned home, the cards slowed to a trickle,...
“I am done with on-line dating!” Suzanne emphatically declared. “Oh no, what happened?” I asked. A few months ago Suzanne had passionately researched on-line dating options for people over 60, and landed on a few sites that focused on her age-range, retirement status, and her religious beliefs.
Bruce lives an enviable life. Having worked for years in the corporate world, his retirement includes the financial resources to afford luxurious vacations, high-end sports equipment, and a new modern home with expansive views. He enjoys an active dating life, attends various charitable functions, and connects regularly with his kids. As he was sharing all his accomplishments and resources with me, I began to wonder why he came in for counseling.
Bob started talking even before he sat down in the chair. “I’ve made so many changes in my life! Over the past few years I’ve stopped using substances, started exercising, included vegetables and fruit in my diet, reconnected with my adult kids, and just wrapped up my last debt payment. It’s like I’m a new person, and everyone is always complimenting me. But I still have times when I have the old thoughts and fight to not do old behaviors, like being mean and selfish to my family. I don’t want to be the old me anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it.”
Trevor looked at me with tears spilling onto his cheeks, “I just want to see my cousins for the solstice. We always go to their house. I don’t understand why I don’t get to go this year.” Trevor and I were in the middle of a play therapy session, surrounded by toys of food, dogs, cats, people, playground equipment, a grill, books, and his favorite stuffed animal. Trevor was creating a happy family celebration scene, and then showing me that unseen storm or force would come in and destroy the joyful scene.
