Article

I’m Ready for Change Now

Posted 2018-02-01

Realistic Framework for Transformation

“That’s it, I’m ready. It’s time for me to lose weight! I’m going to cut out sugar, simple carbs, meat, and dairy.”

“I’m sick and tired of my kid being such a problem. I’m going on a vacation and he’s going to have to wing it. I just can’t handle it anymore. It’s time he acts his age.”

“I’m so done dating. I’ve tried all the sites and, only losers. I’ll be single the rest of my life!!”

I often hear extremes in my office. Before seeing me people try many options, sometimes for years, and by the time they get to me their hope, motivation, and trust are stretched to the breaking point. What’s hard is change comes from small, intentional steps followed through over a long stretch of time, which is the very thing no one wants to do when they’ve already been trying for so long!

In order to lose weight Madie needs to gain awareness of her current diet and begin to find her problem areas. With a food journal we can start to explore her high-calorie food choices, tough times of day, and begin to craft a plan that fits her. She may end up with a more restricted diet, but only if it actually helps her.

Johnathan’s worn himself out problem solving for his teen, but his son continues to get in more and more trouble. Although he thinks he’d feel better taking a break, I work hard to try and convince him that it really isn’t the best option. Instead, family counseling where we come up with obtainable steps can be helpful (moving from straight F’s to straight A’s in a semester is not realistic).

The reality is for most people, including Georgina, dating websites are brutal. The “I’m not enough” syndrome starts (“I’m not thin enough, fit enough, rich enough, young enough…), and the first dates with “I’m not sure how you got that picture you don’t look anything like that” begin. Over time people get more savvy, but it takes patience. Georgina and I came up with a reasonable plan including, no more then 1 first date per week, choosing potential partners with a friend’s input, and focusing on all the other successes in her life.

Change takes effort, motivation, faith, and perseverance over time. There are no quick fixes or, as my family says, there are no free lunches.

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